After escaping an allegedly abusive relationship with her first husband, Iyanla Vanzant found love again with her second spouse. However, after forty years of loving one man, the television personality opened up about her comment leading to her second marriage's end.
Iyanla Vanzant has made a name for herself as an author, television personality, and motivational speaker with a knack for delivering hard-hitting yet much-needed relationship advice.
However, the "Iyanla: Fix My Life" star revealed she felt like a fraud for being unable to make her two marriages work. After leaving her first husband, Iyanla Vanzant had to endure a second divorce from her second spouse around the same time she lost her daughter.
Iyanla Vanzant at the Strength of a Woman's Summit on May 13, 2023, in Atlanta, Georgia. | Source: Getty Images
Iyanla Vanzant's First Husband Was Allegedly Abusive
Iyanla married her first husband, Charles Vanzant, in 1973, and the couple welcomed three children. However, after the relationship reportedly turned physically abusive, she packed a bag each for her and her children and fled in the middle of the night, fearing for her life. She said:
"I had nowhere to go; I had no money to get there — I didn't even care. But I had to be willing to lose everything to gain it all."
Iyanla Vanzant at SiriusXM Studios on March 21, 2023, in New York City. | Source: Getty Images
Iyanla Vanzant on the Comment That Led to the End of Her Marriage with Her Second Spouse
After leaving Charles, Iyanla later said "I do" again to lecturer and businessman Adeyemi Bandele in 1997. However, their marriage ended in divorce. And according to her, it was because of a comment she made.
Iyanla made a name for herself for dishing out advice on Oprah Winfrey's talk show "The Ophrah Show." However, the star of "Iyanla: Fix My Life" — which included appearances from Karrueche Tran, DMX, and Toni Braxton and her family — said she crossed the line when she brought her relationship with Adeyemi into the spotlight and revealed that he "ain't got no money."
However, during a sit down with Oprah, Iyanla revealed that she still loved Adeyemi, despite being blindsided by his request for a divorce after the couple agreed to a "no-out clause" when they tied the knot.
Iyanla Vanzant posing for a picture at "Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen" on October 20, 2019. | Source: Getty Images
Iyanla Vanzant Lost Her Daughters
In 2002, Iyanla's daughter, Gemmia, was diagnosed with a rare form of colon cancer, and her mother tearfully recalled caring for her child for 15 months before Gemmia's death on Christmas Day in 2003. Iyanla shared:
"I washed her, dressed her, and put her body in the bag. Every day for 15 months, I'd cared for her. After that, what do you do? For six months, I didn't get out of bed."
Sadly, the motivational speaker endured grief again following her other daughter Nisa's death. "Please respect the privacy of her and her family at this time. Thank you," a post from Iyanla's Instagram account read.
Iyanla Vanzant on Healing after Her Blindsiding Divorce
Iyanla not only had to deal with her daughter's death and difficult divorce, but she also had to file for bankruptcy. And after coming out the other side, she looked back on her healing journey and forgave her second ex-husband.
"Sometimes you just don't want to be spiritual; you want somebody to burn in hell," she candidly revealed about her feelings towards her second spouse. However, the author dug deep to find it within herself to forgive.
"Give yourself permission to have the initial shock and horrification of whatever the change is," Iyanla advised, adding that navigating tragedy is also all about taking it one step at a time, even if you stumble and fall along the way.
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