- Even though some people don't believe in it, there's actually science behind the feeling of falling in love at first sight.
- True, deep love may not exist yet when you first meet someone, but you may create the memory of falling in love later on in your relationship.
- Some scientists do believe that love at first sight can be real for certain people, but staying in love is the deeper challenge.
Do you believe in love at first sight? According to a 2017 poll from dating site Elite Singles (via Harper's Bazaar), 61% of women and 72% of men think that love at first sight is real — that's a lot of people. Of course, it's hard to compare the way you love someone after you've spent years together making memories and being there for each other through the good and the bad, but there's definitely something to be said for instantly making a connection with someone the moment you meet. And as far as science is concerned, there's a reason you might feel that way.
The next time you think you're falling in love as soon as that first date begins — or if you feel like you and your current partner knew it would be forever from the second your eyes first met — these theories could explain why.
There's an actual chemical reaction in your brain that makes you feel love.
Feeling those butterflies immediately? There's a reason for that. As neuropsychotherapist Dr. Trisha Stratford told The Huffington Post, when you feel like you're falling in love, a chemical reaction is actually happening in your brain, releasing all those warm, fuzzy feelings. Your brain is creating dopamine and serotonin, and Stratford said that it "looks like the brain of someone high on heroin." Because of those chemicals, you may feel an instant attachment to someone, and as long as your brain can sense that attachment is returned, it is on.
"When you look into another person's eyes, your adaptive oscillators — which are part of the prefrontal vortex, which is the orbital frontal complex — these lock between you and your partner and it forms this loop," Stratford said. "The greater the feeling here, the stronger the feeling of love. From there, these adaptive oscillators just pull you together and guide the two mouths together and you kiss. So there are chemicals in everything."
See? Science.
Love at first sight can actually be a "positive illusion" you and your partner create yourselves.
We all know that our memories can definitely be affected over time, but apparently, you may also remember meeting a longtime partner a little differently if you want to believe that you were just as in love with them as ever from the very first day. According to Psychology Today, a 2017 study by researchers at the University of Groningen revealed that love at first sight may actually be a "positive illusion" — meaning that you and your partner may think you fell in love immediately because of the way you feel about each other months or years later.
The study also revealed that most people who experienced love at first sight ended up in a long term relationship with that person, which is what lead the researchers to believe that love at first sight is a memory bias and not its own unique type of love, as many people might think.
Another fun fact from this study? Talking about your first meeting with your partner and how you both felt at the time can actually make you feel more connected and in love.
It could all start with instant attraction.
In a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience, scientists discovered that people can decide almost immediately if they find someone attractive, and the phenomenon of love at first sight cannot happen without that initial attraction. Within seconds (or even less), your brain knows if it's interested in who it's looking at, and this can often be what leads to a lasting relationship.
What you might think of as love at first sight might actually be attraction at first sight, but don't feel bad — that's important, too. That instant attraction might be what helps you realize you want to get to know someone better, and who knows? That could be the person you end up spending the rest of your life with.
Love at first sight doesn't necessarily mean your relationship will last.
First impressions are important, but a good one doesn't guarantee that your relationship is meant to be. Clinical psychologist Dr. Salida Afridi told The National that what makes a bond between two people last requires a much deeper connection.
"It's about being invested in another person's emotional and spiritual growth," Dr. Afridi said. "There are deeper issues than just beauty and attraction at play. So while it's possible to fall for someone initially on a superficial level, you have to work to keep the relationship alive."
In other words? Don't sweat it if you didn't experience love at first sight with the person you're dating. What really matters is everything that happens in your relationship after that first meeting — and building a shared experiences and memories with them that could end up lasting a lifetime.
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